Dear 2007 : Ciao.  We had fun.  You gave me a house, a new career and all the subsequent stress that both provided.  2007 was the year I turned twenty-one and stopped telling people the wine my mom would pour in my glass was actually grape juice.  (Oh, and to those who believed that – WOW!  I thought I was gullible.)  I made new friends, some in real life and others via my best friend the internet.  You showed me that NYC really is that fantastic and that D.C. touches a deep cord in me that has always longed to go into diplomacy.  

Dear Friends : You guys rock my socks.  Thank you for not hating me each time I hastily logged off gtalk or msn because I quite hate saying bye.  Thanks for realizing I do have mental issues and telling me that saying bye doesn’t necessarily mean I will never see you again.  A special thanks to Sona who is always willing to embarrass herself with me for a good time.  I love you, from the deepest part of my bloated heart.

Dear Family : You’re insane.  I love you regardless, because I’m insane too.  Thank you for feeding me and coming to my house in a blizzard to help fix all the things that go wrong in my house. Thank you to my cousin Crystal, who birthed my perfect, happy godson.  Thank you for sacrificing all you do to keep me happy.  That alone makes you totally wacko.

Dear Internet/Gmail/Myspace/Facebook/etc :  Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think we should stop seeing each other.  Or just take breaks or something.  We can be friends with benefits, as long as you don’t turn me into a psycho internet stalker.  Again.

Dear ex-boyfriend(s) [stretching back to high school]: T, Bradley, Sexy Rexy, Cote, A (you don’t technically count because you led me on to think we had a shot.  I’m not bitter, I promise.  Maybe.) – You were all interesting.  Though you can’t seem to bear talking with me anymore, I miss your friendship.  We had happy times.

Dear body : You need to stop.  I can’t seem to look at a cookie without seeing my ass jiggle violently.  You need to learn that if I want to eat some cake, you’re going to metabolize it fast and will not let it touch my already-wide hips.  If you do that much for me, I’ll eat some celery here and there.  Let’s try and lose those 45 pounds that you let creep on us two years ago.   

Dear mind : I think that the trashy romance novels you love so much are rotting your brain.  Cut it out.  Let’s read Kafka or something.

Dear heart: Be good to me.  Work something out with my mind so we don’t have these problems next year. 

Dear 2008 : I told myself 2007 was going to be the best year of my life and it was.  I have high expectations for you.  Let’s see if you can surpass them, shall we?